“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10 (NIV)
I was adjusting to life and marriage 500 miles away from family, friends, and all that was familiar. I was also getting into the groove of being a newlywed wife, whatever that meant.
My husband and I were in our 30’s when we tied the knot and had plenty of furniture between us. It didn’t matter that he preferred a more modern look or that I was vintage all the way…we turned our first little house into a cozy and eclectic home that we both loved.
That is, until I decided to attend a “ladies night out” at a new friend’s place.
She kicked off the evening with a grand tour of her home. Both floors. I looked around to see the excitement among the ladies as I wondered “Is this what married women do?” I followed the leader as we shuffled from room to room, with constant oooh-ing and ahhh-ing from everyone. Everyone except me, that is. I was in my own little world, too busy comparing her décor to mine. When we finally landed in the family room for refreshments and fellowship, my friend happily proclaimed, “So, whose house are we going to next?”
I avoided eye contact. Not mine, I prayed. Please Dear Lord Jesus, not mine.
When I got home, my husband was waiting with a smile as he asked me how it went.
“We need a new couch!” I blurted as his smile quickly turned to bewilderment. I proceeded to ramble on and on about the majesty of her home…and our pitiful couch.
But, the truth was that her home wasn’t a castle.
And, our couch was just fine.
The problem-o was me.
I had wrapped myself in the comparison trap.
And, it wasn’t that I was jealous of her. It was so much more than that.
I just didn’t feel like I was enough.
Enough of a wife. Enough of an interior decorator. Enough of pretty much everything.
Comparison does that to a person and it’s downright ugly.
Friend, perhaps you can relate to my story.
You’re all caught up in the lie that you’re not enough.
It IS a lie, you know.
And, it has nothing to do with your couch…
But it has everything to do with the “thing” that just came to mind.
Won’t you let it go and rest in the arms of the One who loves you so much?
“The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17 (NIV)
It’s been many years now since my couch breakdown, but that doesn’t mean I’m free from bouts of insecurity. That’s why I’m sharing my story. It’s so much more than a couch story. It’s a reminder to myself that I am enough. And so are you, dear one. So are you.
Spread your joy,